I Loathe , Hate, Despise and Abhor Abortion

No surprise a Conservative Catholic Mom of 8 is pro-life right.  Many who know us know that 6 of our children are adopted as is my grandson.  What many do not know is that as we await the birth of our 2nd grandson in sept he is really our 3rd grandchild. 13 years ago my very head strong eldest daughter had an abortion while attending college.  I did not think I could feel such pain.  I hurt for my daughter who took the advice of a touchy feely buffet christian woman and decided her baby was inconvenient.  I hurt for that precious baby that I will not see until the Lord comes back.  I still hurt for my now grown daughter. She has always walked her own path from toddlerhood on and seems insistent on doing things her way.  She has repented for this sin and has spent many hours in my arms crying over her mistake. You see she realized far too late that the mistake was not the baby. The mistake was in taking his or her  life.  Such a horrible hard lesson.

We have all heard it before that some children should just not be born. Certainly my 6 that were adopted would fall in that category, at least to the oh so tolerant and not the least hate filled Feminazis and Left wingnuts feel this way.

Each of my 6 younger children was born addicted to several substances. They were born to women who were so dependent on an illegal substance that they made incredibly risky life choices to fee their addictions. Statistically speaking none of these children had a chance and therefore had no real quality of life so should have been aborted.

My twin boys were born 6 weeks early weighing 3 and 3 1/2 lbs respectively. They tested positive for both hallucinogens and opiates.  Their prognosis was that they would be mentally challenged and likely institutionalized. Certainly these poor babies would have no quality of life!  They were hooked up to apnea monitors until 5months of age. Such nonsense! They were adorable, normal babies, chubby, inquisitive, on track developmentally. Clever enough that we had to bolt their toddler beds to the floor so they could not dismantle them and duct taped them in their jammies so they did not have spontaneous "nakey time" and paint the walls of their nursery with the contents of their diapers.
They can be wonderful big brothers. At 15yo they are handsome, strapping, funny, mischievous normal teen boys.  Gifted both artistically and musically.  They could play the theme song from any movie by ear on the piano at age 8.  Now they are nearing 6ft and just as I am about ready to pull my hair at something they have said or done  they make me laugh and thus get by with whatever one more time. They are good students and I have to admit ridiculously popular with teen girls.  Yes they have had NO quality of life.

Then there is our precious Molly, born to a mother who used so much heroin that Molly was then put on copious amounts of morphine as a newborn.  She lived on a daily dose of phenobarbital until she was 6 months old.  She would get so overstimulated  and screamed so long and so hard that the only thing I could do was swaddle her and put her in her bassinet in our bathroom and walk away. My GP Doc at the time is also a Priest and he insisted I do this,  that once she got this way she could not stand to be touched. It about killed me to do it, but I did.  She would only sleep up against her daddies shoulder in our King Sized bed.  That is how the 3 of us slept for her 1st 6 months.  Daddy. Molly up against his arm, apnea monitor and wires trailing from her jammies and then
 me.  Certainly this poor sick baby had no quality of life?  Today she is 14. Drop dead gorgeous inside and out. She works harder at every single thing in her life than anyone I have ever seen. Yesterday she placed 3rd in the 100 meter hurdles in a track meet that included 3 middle schools.  She is the glue in the middle of the kids.  The one every sibling  loves and has no enemies. Yup no quality of life there. 

To be continued...Steven, Susie and Thomas

Jesus is Not a French Fry.

Currently my Husband  and I are in the process of seeking out a Latin Mass/Extraordinary Form/Tridentine Mass.   We have certainly seen and know of very good Priests who say a reverent Novus Ordo. However lately they are few and far between. I do not feel as if  I am a better than you  Catholic for attending a LM.  I believe the NO Mass is valid. It is  just that I am no longer content giving Jesus a HI-5, I want to give him my ALL.  I don't want to leave Mass feeling all warm and tingly because there was lots of acceptance and tolerance and hugs and smiles and cool music. I want to leave Mass knowing in my soul I had just been with the true Christ and received Him again in the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.  I don't want to dance for Jesus, I want to fall on my face and thank him and praise him for loving and forgiving such a sinner.  Of course I can experience and have all of the best in a NO Mass.  However, I can no longer deny the sanctity,reverence and beauty of the Mass of the Ages. 
My heart breaks at the liturgical abuses I see in many Masses. Some large and some small. I am no Liturgical expert by any means, so if I can see them they are pretty flagrant.  There is a whole generation that does not fully understand the Mass and there are several generations that have forgotten what the Mass is and means.  I see folks saunter up to communion and stick out their unwashed hands and pop the host in their mouth as if it were a cracker at a cocktail party or peanuts in a bar or just another McDonald's french fry.
I recently heard a statement by a Muslim talking to a priest he said,." If I believed as you Catholics do, that was my Lord and Savior in that bread, I would receive it on my knees and then fall on my face."  Perhaps that man has a point!
I do not have any right or cause to judge the NO Mass when said correctly. I have no belief that I somehow got a the holy sticky note from Jesus and I have SEEN THE LIGHT!  I just am so thankful that in this day and age I can worship Him in the Mass of the Ages. That it is even still available.

Where Did She Go?

 

I want my Church back.

I want to walk into a Church and not have to search for The Blessed Sacrament that has been relegated to a side room. Really! Jesus in a side room?

I want to see statues behind the Altar. Statues of whatever Saint that Church is named for. Statues of our Blessed Mother, several of them. The Holy Family, The Infant of Prague etc. I want my Catholic Church to look like a Catholic Church. Many still do,but only because they were built before 1970.

I want my Church back-

Where people dressed like they are going to see Jesus, like He was ACTUALLY there and again not relegated to a side room.

Hats I want to see a sea of hats and veils on every female in Mass. Obedience =Freedom. Rebellion=Oppression

Dresses, skirts, and appropriate clothing on said females. Suits and ties on men, or that particular persons VERY BEST. No more jeans and college T's, or rapper T's or T's period. No more Britteny Spears wanna be outfits on teen girls and baggy pants and skull T's on Teen Boys. WHAT? you say A Dress Code? YUP! For one stinking hour a week would it really kill people to look decent. Funny most Black Churches have stayed faithful to this and you never hear how oppressed they feel because the men were in ties and the women had hats and dresses on. They take in pride (not the sinful kind) in how they dress for Church.

I want my Church Back-

I want a good faithful Pastor, that stays true to the teaching of The Church.

Not some liberal Protestant wannabe, not some nascent people pleasing puppet. I want a REAL PRIEST who is also a REAL MAN. I can name 3 right now. I won't. Why can't I name more?

I want Sisters. Sisters who look like Sisters i.e. Missionaries of Charity, Mary Mother of the Church Sisters. No Feminazis that want to be Priests and fight against the only Church that truly values and respects women and always has. The day the Church ordains a woman, or marries a homosexual couple, or condones any form of artificial birth control is the day I walk.

I want to NEVER see a woman on the altar in any capacity during Mass. EVER! That includes Altar girls. What the heck are we doing calling them Acolytes? That is what the Anglicans call them. Uhm we are Catholic and they are Altar Boys, because serving may lead to a vocation to a religious life. Never, not once growing up did I have the desire to be an Altar Boy even though all 4 of my brothers were.

I want my Church Back-

I want altar railings,. Shouldn't we kneel before during and after we receive Jesus? I want quiet reverence immediately before and all during Mass. This is not a cocktail party, not in any way is it time to visit with anyone. I learned that at a very young age by having my earlobe pinched by my Mother because, I love to talk. If I saw a friend at Mass I wanted to say hi and being 7 I was kind of impulsive. But I had that under control by age 9, the lady I sat next to in Mass had a way of reminding me. Others may have thought she was putting her arm around my shoulder. HA! She was teaching me how to behave in Mass. More often than not one of her "looks" would suffice in keeping myself and my hooligan brothers in place during Mass.

I want my Church Back-

I want good strong Holy Bishops. We may have a few now, but most are liberal knuckleheads leftover from the gone-too-far-after-V2 generation. If not Liberal just not strong enough in their personal convictions to fight the garbage that is constantly being thrown at the Church and no spine to take a strong public stance.

If the readers of this think I am some nut case extremist. Nothing I said here would even have been a thought before and shortly following V2. This was the Catholic Church. All the above existed in EVERY Catholic Parish EVERYWHERE! Catholic Churches looked like Catholic Churches. Nuns looked Nuns, Priests looked and acted like Priests. Bishops were no nonsense. Church was a place we revered. Mass was a privilege not a right and the Eucharist was what carried us through until the next Sunday. We stopped playing on Saturday afternoon and went to Confession. We went without meat EVERY Friday. We dressed up every Sunday. We stood up when Sister Marywhoever and Fr. I'minCharge walked in to the room. We knew our Saints and why they were Saints. We were taught to love God and to feed the hungry and clothe the poor, long before Social Justice became a cool buzzword. Cripes the Catholic Church invented Social Justice. The real kind not the enabling gee aren't I a swell giving Christian like person kind.

As a child and well into adulthood I loved and took pride in being Catholic. I still love my faith, but I can no longer say I am proud of the Catholic Church in the US. There are individuals within in It that I have great admiration for. However, I think we need a retro-lution. No misspelling, I think we need to go back and pick up some things that were dropped after V2. But! Can we? I am so frustrated right now that the Sedevacantists that I have long thought extreme, now seem to have a point.

Where is my Church? Mt. St. Michaels? SSPX? The modern Church that throws out an occassional Latin Mass like a bone for a hungry dog? I no longer know. I am searching and praying. I know I love Jesus and my Blessed Mother with every fiber of my being. I know. if I keep praying They will lead me.

So I wonder are these the ramblings of a selfish woman who is feeling nostalgic? No this is the heart of a woman who misses her home.